Hidden River Secrets (Hidden River Academy Book 2) Read online

  “You’ve got one solid, decent chance at making a better life for yourself right now, Mia. I’m not saying it’s now or never, but the best time to plant a tree was a year ago, and the second best time is today. I want you to focus on your studies, not on boys. This home should be a safe haven for you, where you don’t have to worry about putting on makeup before you come down for breakfast.”

  My face warmed. I had put on eyeliner and blush. I stared down at the carpet, my toes curling into it. Everything hurt. The truth hurt. The way my uncle saw me, knew what was going on in my head, hurt.

  “What’s that on your arm?” His voice went icy. I jerked, glancing down. The clear imprint, four fingermarks, shadowed in faded gray, showed distinctly on my upper arm. I’d bruised where Buck had grabbed me too tightly.

  Before I could say ‘nothing’, my uncle was up on his feet, fury on his face.

  “He’s gone to get boxes, but I’ll throw his shit out on the lawn for touching you like that.”

  “Please, stop,” I cried out, “he didn’t mean it.”

  My uncle went still, his face waxen and pale. He stared at me; with dawning horror, I realized that he’d probably heard the same from my mother many, many times before.

  “I’ve been failing you for longer than I’ve realized,” he said, watching me with a guarded expression.

  “I’d like you out of the house for the next few hours, Mia,” he said, his words unsteady and drawn out. “Give me some time to escort Buck and his personal effects back to his own home.”

  My stomach sank, my muscles trembled. I wanted to yell at him, tell him to stop, beg him to reconsider. Buck hadn’t meant it. It’d just been a single moment… hot tears welled up in my eyes. I got to my feet. I wanted to tell Uncle Matt that I hated him, but it wasn’t true. In the back of my mind, I knew that he was just trying to keep me safe the best way he knew how.

  “What’re you gonna do, lock me up? I haven’t done anything wrong,” I couldn’t help the bitterness in my voice. My uncle shook his head.

  “No, you’ve done nothing wrong, sweetheart. This isn’t a punishment for you-”

  The sound of tires on gravel made us both look to the window. Buck’s SUV pulled up, his face a miserable smudge behind the windshield.

  “Go upstairs, Mia,” my uncle ordered me, but I stood firm.

  “I want to talk to him. I’m not grounded, right? This isn’t a punishment for me, right?” I glared at my uncle. He was doing what he thought was the right thing, but I needed Buck with me more than ever. Inside, I was as fragile as a soap bubble, ready to pop and vanish at the slightest breeze. Buck was the weight that grounded me, he was my first, and maybe my only, if life was kind and easy like that.

  Except life is never kind or easy. It’s always patiently, unfailingly neutral, doling out events that break me down to my core as soon as it gives me something beautiful to lift me up with.

  “Mia, I know I don’t set a lot of rules for you. But right now, I’m telling you: go to your room.” My uncle turned toward me, and the look on his face meant business—his lips pressed hard together into a thin line. I shivered, wanting to lodge one more protest, knowing I shouldn’t. I could text Buck, at least, and see him Monday at school.

  The floorboards of the front porch creaked, and my uncle made a low noise of frustration. I didn’t think, just ran up the stairs, taking them two at at time, getting to the top landing just as the screen door opened. My heart pounded as I waited there, aching to hear Buck’s voice. He’d ask my uncle to let him stay, make the case that he needed to be here, with the both of us. This was his safe space too. That big house that his parents owned wasn’t a home, no matter how much money they had. My uncle had made us a home, and we were a weird little family, perfect just as we were.

  My hope for salvation never came. Frosty silence iced over the downstairs floor, until Buck’s sigh cracked through it, and the door to the basement room opened, shutting behind him as he thumped down the stairs.

  There would be no last minute pleas from Buck, begging my uncle to let him stay.

  Buck was leaving me behind, without even the smallest fight.

  My heart splintered, and I crept into my bedroom, easing the door shut. I just wanted to curl up on my bed and cry silently without anyone hearing me.

  For some reason, my pain felt intensely private; I didn’t want them knowing how much I was hurting. I’d opened up, like a flower, only to find it was winter out, and exposing myself was the stupidest thing I could have done.

  But that’s the way life went. As soon as I thought I was safe, the walls came crumbling down around me. The waves splashed at my legs, and I’d find myself being dragged out by the undertow, inhaling water, and seeing the blackness close above my head. That’s all life had ever been for me. Now I had no reason to think it’d be different, ever.

  “Mia?” Shiv’s face was free of makeup, dark circles under her eyes. “You look like shit.”

  Monday morning came, and without Buck at home to give me a ride, I’d cycled to school. Sweat soaked through my sweater and made my backpack stick to me by the time I’d gotten there.

  I made a face at Shiv. The rest of Saturday had been an exercise in avoiding Uncle Matt by hiding in my room. I hadn’t felt like eating, not after the sound of Buck’s Rover roared out of the drive and through the trees. Sunday, my uncle had gone out for a time, and I’d snuck down to Buck’s old room. His scent still lingered in the air, like a ghost, but all his belongings were gone, right down to the sheets stripped off his mattress.

  I’d sunk onto the mattress on my knees, my heart feeling like it was ripped to ribbons, and I’d cried myself sick there.

  Buck wouldn’t answer my calls or texts.

  So yeah, Shiv was right.

  I looked like shit.

  “Shitty weekend,” I said, my voice a half-croak. The sun poured over the campus, and I had been spending the first break by myself outside on a sloping hill overlooking the football fields. Shiv had found me and tucked herself in next to me, her limbs listless as she sat there, staring at nothing.

  “I still don’t understand why he’s leaving me,” Shiv said, her voice shuddering in her throat.

  I turned to her, taking her hand in mine. We laced our fingers together and pressed into one another as the tears spilled down our cheeks. I told her some of what happened. That Buck’d moved out. That he wasn’t talking to me. That my uncle was staring at me like what’d happened had hollowed him out and left him just a husk.

  Four little bruises. Tiny marks, peppering my arm. A mistake, an accident of intensity.

  And here we were, sobbing to one another.

  “We should skip next period,” Shiv whispered, wiping her eyes on the sleeve of her sweater. “I can’t even think, let alone pay attention to history.”

  “We’ll get in trouble,” I replied, but I couldn’t disagree with her sentiment. My next class? Buck was in it. I wasn’t sure what was going on with him, and the icy ache in my heart promised me trouble if he didn’t welcome me with a half-smile and open arms. I took a slow, cooling breath and stared up at the sky. Puffs of clouds scattered across the deep blue, with less city pollution to fade it to pastel.

  “Just say you got your period…” Shiv trailed off as her phone beeped. She sat up and looked at the message. “It’s Shawn,” she said. “He wants to meet me-”

  Instantly, guilt slammed into me like a truck. I felt like it flattened me out.

  “To… talk?”

  Shiv’s face lit up as she looked at me.

  “Maybe he’s changed his mind,” she said, getting to her feet. “I’m gonna go meet him.”

  “Now?” I scrambled up after her, that horrible feeling inside of me. I know I’ve fucked up, and there’s nothing I can do to keep the consequences from running me over. It’s too late, it’s done.

  It doesn’t matter that it wasn’t my fault. I never kissed Shawn. He kissed me. He confessed feelings to me. Not the other way
around. I’d never seen him that way, not when he’d come to my defense with Noah, not when he’d sat beside me at the football game, his voice haunting as he comforted me…

  “Can you take my bag and drop it in my next class? I need to go,” Shiv said. She was off before I could answer, leaving me on the hillside gulping sweet lungfuls of air that burned all the way down my throat to my belly.

  Her skirt billowed behind her as she sprinted across the field. In the distance, I could see the sun glinting on Shawn’s red hair as he leaned against one of the support legs that held up the bleachers.

  I turned away. Whatever happened, happened. Hopefully Shawn had changed his mind, or found his mind after losing it, and was going to confess his undying love for her. I scooped up her bag. Maybe it was better that I just went to class and saw Buck. I’d be able to grab a moment with him afterward and talk to him.

  Mend the weird rift between us that my uncle had opened.

  Buck’s empty chair taunted me. His absence wasn’t remarked upon by our teacher. Boots, a seat over from me, raised an eyebrow when I poked her.

  “He transferred out, got special permission to do the class online,” she said, “so he could fit in extra practice for football. Didn’t you know?” She quirked her head to the side.

  “I… I must have missed his text about it,” I said, sinking down in my seat. A shadow loomed over me, a cloud throwing me into the cold on an otherwise sunny day.

  I sent him a text message between classes, wandering blindly through the hallway as I did. He’d answer this one, because I’d used way too many exclamation points.

  That’s how I missed the leg stuck out, and how I tripped, going ass over tea-kettle. My books flopped open, my phone hit the ground a second after I did. It hurt, and I coughed, stunned for a moment. Silence fell around me. I glanced up. Other students eyed me, then scattered, leaving me all alone, except for-

  “Oh, hey, it’s the charity case,” Reid Remington said, standing there with his leg still out, like he didn’t give a shit he’d just tripped me and sent me tumbling.

  My knees were bruised. I felt the subtle ache in the bone. Gathering my courage, I glared up at him.

  “Oh, look, it’s the resident asshole,” I replied, grabbing my books and my phone, getting to my feet. Reid wasn’t as tall as Buck or Shawn, but I still had to look up at him. “What, where’s your posse of pussy and other hangers-on?” The hurt stewing in my belly from the weekend finally had a target, and I was ready to lash out.

  “Oooohooo,” Reid said, his smirk never dimming. He had a pretty face, for a guy, with sharp features and dark eyes. “I thought you were trying to avoid the trash-talk, since you’d been gifted the opportunity to be in better company than the trailer park.”

  “Don’t fool yourself,” I replied, “you might come from money, but it’s obvious that cash doesn’t buy class.” I shoved my books in my bag and started walking away, ignoring the way my knees were hurting and how much I wanted to punch him in his pretty face.

  Footsteps sounded behind me. When I glanced to the side, Reid had caught up with me, casually matching my stride like he belonged there.

  “I woulda thought you’d be more accommodating and friendly, given that you’ve just lost your main supporter here at Hidden River.”

  “What?” I glared up at him. “What are you talking about?”

  “Siobhan,” he said, tilting his head, cruel smile twisting his face. He was handsome, and he knew it, but I hated that look on him. My fingers itched to slap it off his face. “She’s ditching your ass. With her gone, you’re losing most of the girls who were so eager to play besties with their new poverty-wagon-riding friend.”

  My insides clenched, and for a moment I nearly stopped walking.

  “Fuck off,” I said, “you’ve made it pretty clear you don’t like me because I’m poor—which, honestly, is a reflection of your internal garbage more than anything to do with me—so nothing you say has any fucking value at all.”

  I was done, exhausted by the weekend, and ready to fight.

  Instead of getting mad, like I expected (and wanted), Reid laughed.

  “You know, now that you’re done playing sweet-innocent-Mia, I’m kinda into this tough-talking-ball-buster-Mia.”

  That made me snort.

  “Are you still talking? I’ve got class.” I was five steps away from the door of my classroom. Mr. Matheson was an actual ball-buster; if he caught me talking with Reid in the hallway instead of taking my seat, I’d be in deep shit.

  “If you need a friend,” Reid said, “don’t call me, I’m not interested. Just thought I’d give you the heads up that Shiv is on the outs with you, and her word goes a lot further than yours with all the girlies in this school.”

  He wasn’t making sense. I rolled my eyes and walked into class, ignoring him entirely.

  Well, I tried to, at least. For the rest of class, I fidgeted, wondering if I should text Shiv and ask her if everything was okay. I barely took any notes, and was grateful when the bell rang, signalling that it was time for lunch. I could catch up with Shiv in the cafeteria and get some answers. Not that I wanted Reid to know he was making me worry. I’d figure out some way of asking without letting it get back to him that he’d wormed his way under my skin.

  My bag weighed heavily on my shoulder as I walked down to the cafeteria. I stood in the doorway for a moment before getting jostled by some seniors and told to move. Nothing was wrong. Nothing could be wrong. I’d been a good friend to Shiv.

  Except, I hadn’t told her that her ex-boyfriend kissed me.

  But that was… that wasn’t for me to tell.

  The girls on the cheer team were sitting at the usual table, but as I walked toward it, I realized that there were no empty seats beside Shiv or Boots.

  As I got closer, I saw Paige glance at me, a little smile on her lips. She got to her feet a second later and brushed her hands over her skirt. She patted a hand on Shiv’s shoulder before walking to me.

  “Hi, Mia,” she said, “I thought Reid spoke to you already.”

  My heart stalled.

  “You really should look for another seat today, we’re kind of cramped.” Paige motioned to the table, which had space, but no chairs.

  “I-”

  Boots looked up from her meal. Shiv ate steadily, without glancing at me.

  “Save it, Quinn. Maybe your doe-eyed bullshit worked on Buck, but it’s not going to work on us. We know about you and Shawn.” The normally friendly Boots gave me an icy glare. Panic welled up in me.

  “I didn’t-”

  “We don’t have room for home-wreckers like you, sorry,” Paige said, her words laced with poison and sweetness. “So take your slutty little ass elsewhere, okay?” Her hand came up and she shoved me, hard. I stumbled back, looking wildly at each of the girls sitting at the table.

  “I-”

  “We said it nicely,” Paige threatened. “Don’t make this worse for yourself.”

  I hiccuped a noise.

  “Shiv-”

  Shiv lifted her head to look at me, or rather, through me.

  “Do you hear something?” she asked. “I think that’s the sound of someone who needs to go find a quiet corner to kill herself in.”

  I shuddered, finding no reprieve from any of the girls, and without anything to say in my defense, I turned and left.

  Three

  Answers. I needed answers, and right away. Too bad they wouldn’t come, not soon anyway. I texted Shawn, he didn’t respond. I texted Buck, same deal. The pillars of support I’d slowly started building since coming to Hidden River had been yanked out from under me.

  Stumbling out of the cafeteria, I ghosted through my final classes for the day, barely able to look at anyone.

  When I did, they just smirked at me or gave me a confused, raised-eyebrow look.

  It was like everyone knew that I was to be ignored or sneered at. My cheeks took on a permanent glow that didn’t end even when I cycled bac
k home, the trip peppered with hot tears as they slid down my face.

  “Mia?” my uncle called from downstairs, around dinnertime. “I made burgers. You ready to eat?”

  I was lying on my bed, staring up at the ceiling, trying to calculate the exact tipping point when everything had gone wrong. Had this been building before Shawn kissed me? Could I trace it back to a certain point that Shawn had started to like me? Had I somehow given him the idea I liked him back?

  Was this actually my fault to begin with?

  I wasn’t hungry, but I dragged myself downstairs. My uncle gave me a bright smile that I fumbled to match, and he chattered throughout dinner as I picked at my burger, the meat soggy in my mouth and unappetizing.

  “So, how was school?” My uncle’s question made something snap inside me. I lifted my head, and set down the pop I was drinking.

  “An absolute shitshow,” I answered. My eyes felt itchy from having cried on and off for days. I stared at him, and felt some gratitude at how taken aback he looked.

  “Mia-”

  “No, it sucked. Seriously, everyone at that school hates me because I’m poor, or because they think I stole someone’s boyfriend. First, everyone hated me because Buck liked me. And how dare I, the poverty-case interloper in hand-me-downs, be so brazen as to steal the heart of one of the star football players? How dare I find some sort of spot of happiness in the shriveled, dried up pea that was my life?” It was all coming out, an eruption of everything I’d felt since coming here.My uncle’s face went wan. “And, then, just when it was becoming real—truly, totally, completely real with Buck—Shawn decides, oh, now’s a good time to confess his undying love for me. I never saw that coming. Now Shiv hates me, so, of course, everyone else hates me again. Buck won’t talk to me, probably because you kicked him out of the only home he felt safe in; Shawn won’t text me back; and I’ve lost the tiny bit of ground that I’d gained at school. Everything sucks, et cetera, et cetera.”

  My hands were clenched in my lap, and I let out a shaky breath.